Why Do Farts Sound Different? The Physics of Flatulence

We tried to synthesize these noises for the [main sound database](/) and it was a complete disaster. You literally have to use wet balloons and slime to recreate the wetness. You can't fake it with a computer. I don't know why people act like every fart is the exact same thing, it's honestly driving me crazy. I run this soundboard site right? I have to listen to hundreds of these audio files every single week, and the variation is just... it's actually insane. Like my uncle Dave for example. He only does these silent ones that smell like actual death, but then my little cousin does these crazy high pitched squeaks that sound like someone stepping on a rubber dog toy. I had to know why. I actually sat down and read some weird medical blogs about gastroenterology at 2 in the morning because I couldn't stop thinking about it. It literally all comes down to basic physics. Your asshole is just a meat trumpet. Think about it. The sphincter is the mouthpiece. If you squeeze your lips together and blow really hard, you get that high pitched squealing noise right? Same exact thing happens down there. If the muscle is clenched tight and there's a lot of pressure behind it, it forces the gas through a tiny hole. It vibrates the tissue super fast. High frequency. That's how you get a [classic squeaker](/sounds/squeaky). They are honestly the best ones for pranking people because the sound cuts right through a crowded room. But what about the deep ones? The ones that sound like a tuba and shake the floor? That happens when there's a huge volume of gas and the opening is relaxed. If you eat an entire plate of beans, your stomach makes a ton of methane. That much gas has to get out fast, so it pushes the muscle open wider and the tissue flaps slower. Low frequency, big amplitude. Boom. The funniest part to me is the acoustic dampening. If you have a really fat ass, it actually muffles the sound. The fat and muscle tissue absorbs all the high frequencies. It's like putting soundproofing foam on the walls of a recording studio. It takes a sharp crack and turns it into a dull thud. The chair you sit on changes everything too. Wood chairs amplify the sound because the wood vibrates. Couches absorb it. That's why [office pranks](/blog/office-pranks) are so hard to pull off, because desk chairs have completely unpredictable acoustics.

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